Dear Judy

Dear Judy

I am 17 years old and have a horrible problem. My breasts are very
small and no boy finds me attractive. I am probably prettier than some
of my girls, I am fun and boys like me as their homegirl. I feel they
treat me like i am one of the boys and want me to help them hook up
with one of my friends. I can't afford to pay for breast implants but
i know as long as i don't have breast like the girls in music video or
magazines my friends watch, i will never be sexy.

Signed,
Unpopular

Dear Friend,

Okay, let’s put things in perspective. What you are experiencing is a stressful problem; not a horrible problem. Things can be much worse, girlfriend. A horrible problem would be if you had breast cancer and had to have them removed…small or not, it would be horrible. But you’d survive that too! I’ve never understood why, but for whatever reason, our men in this society tend to place a huge importance on breast size…we call these breast men but that does not mean they are the BEST men. Your desire to have larger breasts are like another girl’s desire to have a smaller waist or a curvier hip. Confidence comes from the inside first! Have you ever walked into a room where a woman has all the guys’ attention? If you look really hard, you will see she probably has lots of flaws, and somehow you wonder, “Why the heck are they all over her?” It has nothing to do with her breast size. It has to do with the size of her confidence. Confidence is sexy my dear! When you know who you are, and you BELIEVE that you are fine just the way you are, you will attract the guy you want. So the first thing you have to do is highlight your good assets – do you have beautiful eyes? Hair? Focus on your good qualities first, and if all else fails, wear a push up bra because, listen to me: YOU ARE ONLY 17!!! Are you crazy, putting yourself through painful and expensive surgery just to make a guy attracted to you?! The man who is worth your love, will love you just the way you are; in fact he will love your smaller breasts!

By the way, those girls in the music videos are treated like slaves on the sets; did you know that? They are just things – sex symbols…they don’t go home with the men on the video. Trust me! Coming from a recording artist’s experience, I have spoken to many girls and they are not respected a lot of the time. And also, it’s okay to be the homegirl, you will see. It will get better; just hang in there – don’t change yourself for anyone. When you are older – maybe about 25 – if this still bothers you, then go ahead and have surgery. But do it because you want to ENHANCE what’s already there. If you had a daughter and she came to you with this situation; would you race her to have surgery? I don’t think so. Oh, and just to throw this out there for you, big breasts mean back pain, scrapes on the shoulders and discomfort when you run. You may not appreciate that now; but you will one day! Good luck, good wishes and love yourself, chica!!!